From Sugar Cravings To Real Recovery (EP 111)

[0:14] Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Unhealthy Podcast, the show where we talk honestly about the habits that quietly, wreck our health, our energy, and our focus, and what real people are doing to turn that around.

[0:31] So, folks, if you caught my last conversation with Paige Alexander, you know we went deep on food addiction, cravings, and why willpower alone is letting us down. So, So today we are going to pick up with that thread and get into how to actually fix that. So, Paige, welcome back. Hi. You said willpower. You know that ain't a thing, right? There ain't no such thing? No.

[1:00] I don't know. You know, it's funny. It just keeps popping up. I don't know why we can't get rid of that word. It's a misnomer. I mean, you might have limited supply in a short amount of time, but you cannot. It is not a dependable resource, that's for sure. Have you heard of decision fatigue? Decision fatigue?

[1:21] I don't remember off the top of my head. So by the end of the day, especially people suffering from food addiction, you've made one gazillion decisions about food during the day. And nighttime eating seems to be the hardest for people. And we interviewed this one guy, this one doctor on our podcast. And he said, it's because you have a case of the efforts by the end of the evening and your bucket is full. You're at capacity with your decisions. Your resistance is low. you might have had a bad day, and so you're very susceptible at that time to just want comfort in the easiest way possible. So it's, that's why people find themselves in the cookie jar after dinner, and usually it's a slower time of day, and you can start unwinding, and there's not something pressing on your brain. So unless you have a nice little plan in place for after dinner, you can easily find yourself back in the cookie jar. And like I said, willpower, you're going to be great at 6 a.m. You ain't going to be great at 6 p.m. Okay, gotcha.

[2:30] So going along that path, when we talked last and we talked about addiction and we talked about how it is something that is hard to fight. Obviously, if people could do it on willpower alone, we wouldn't have recovery clinics. We wouldn't have people with such issues and stuff like that. We know that it is a sickness slash disease slash chemical imbalance that we have to deal with at some time. So let's go ahead and go down this road.

[3:05] Go ahead. I was going to tell you, did you know that dopamine has memory? So let's say, what is something, I hate to use you because you're a poor excuse for a food addict.

[3:19] Like another girl? Yeah, because that's one strike against you. And number two, you don't seem to be measuring high on the food addiction scale. But is there something in your life that you eat that you have a hard time stopping once you start? Can you give me an example and then I'll explain it to you? Probably the closest thing would be, I don't know, jelly beans? Okay, jelly beans. Your brain remembers that, okay, I'm feeling a little itchy right now. Whether you're upset about something, you're needing comfort in some way. The brain will be like, oh, he's upset. Poor Marv. We need to make sure he's okay. Let's get him some jelly beans as soon as possible. Because your brain, your dopamine has memory. It remembered that that is something that will shoot that dopamine as high as possible, as fast as possible, and bring you comfort temporarily. Okay, great.

[4:21] So I'm going to ask this question because, just for me, because it's not going to be relevant to anything you just said. Yeah, let's just make it about us. I could go a year without eating the jelly beans. So then maybe that isn't a good example. Okay. I mean, but like, and the only reason I thought of that was because I had a bag last week for the first time in months. And I brought it to the office. And usually I'll grab like a handful and put it on the desk, put the bag away.

[4:51] I'll eat those. And I don't know, 10 minutes later, I'm going for the bag again. Okay. So, yeah, that's a good example. So that's a prime example of the one handful wasn't enough because there was a signal in your brain that says you need more. Get more. That was good. I want to have fun. I want pleasure. It's a pleasure seeking. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. But I also have, I also struggle with the fact that if I don't have them for a year, it's not like I missed them. So what are the things that people who do have this addiction, how is, how is my situation like theirs? Because it's not because it sounds like you measure very very low on the addiction spectrum it's a spectrum, it's not just a yes no okay it's you can be slightly or you can have a severe, and all faces in between i don't really care for jelly beans that's kind of a rookie move in my opinion, but.

[6:03] If it were chocolate sitting on my desk, I would be in it every day, all day. I wouldn't be able to have that. And I also, you know, for people that are at an office, it seems like everybody has candy dishes. Try to protect what I call your eye gate. Don't have it in your vision. That's another thing that there'll be drips of dopamine in the back of your brain, if you can see it or if you know it's just sitting over on the other side of the receptionist's desk, that can be a trigger, too. Believe me, there are people that are nodding their head, leaning in, that are listening right now going, uh-huh, exactly. I know what she's talking about. Okay.

[6:45] So then let me ask you this. What are the biggest, I don't know, myths, untruths that you see around food addiction and recovery? What are the things that just either annoy you that we get wrong and aren't helping fix the problem? So the biggest one, I think, is when people try to fix it with just food only. I had mentioned on our previous podcast that it is not a singular, it's not just a food problem. Gaining weight is a byproduct of the real problem. We've got to figure out, it might be trauma, it might be big T trauma, it might be little T trauma, it might be grief, it might be some other stressor in your life that's causing this. But food isn't the real issue. You're using food and you're giving it a job, bigger than it was ever designed to do. You're trying to have food solve problems for you when it's an internal job. You're using things outside your body to solve a problem that's going on the inside. So we need to look at the full picture. We need to look at single ingredient foods. How are you sleeping at night? What type of movement do you have in your life? What type of spiritual base do you have in your life? What is your stress management skills? What is your education system like? What's your value system?

[8:15] Do you have purpose? And I have found people that don't have a strong purpose in their life are seeking for pleasure to substitute for a lack of purpose in your life. Okay, let's look at that. Let's get some artistic interests going on in your life. What is fulfilling you? It's not that I don't want you to have food. I want your life just to be bigger and so full that food is just a small part of your life. It's not the only thing that you're living. for.

[8:54] I see you moving now. Okay. You moved before. All I saw was Uncle Marv sign. Okay. Could you hear me? Because it was really good. I solved world peace problems. I hope that you could still hear me. Miss America, you had a chance. No, I didn't. I heard let's, and then it stopped.

[9:18] Oh, boy. I wonder where I... Maybe I was talking about, did you hear me when I said that it needs to be addressed from a broad spectrum that it's just not about food? It's about all those different areas of your life. That's what sets our program apart and that's what's necessary. It just is not about food. It's about food is being used to comfort in a way. And I don't know if you heard me say that when we use food for reasons other than nutrition, we're giving food a bigger job than it was ever designed to do. And that you need to look for internal solutions for these outside problems instead of outside sources to comfort you during times of trouble. Okay. So let me ask this question then. Because. Yeah.

[10:18] Most of the world doesn't look at food issues as an addiction. It looks at it as something that we can solve with these programs that we've talked about. Yeah. You know, keto, intermittent fasting. Now it's all the craze, you know, GLP-1 drugs stuff. So let me ask you, how do you see those things as the way we're dealing with it?

[10:42] If you ever sign up for a program and all they're talking about is food.

[10:48] Don't walk run because first of all 99% of diets don't work and they come back, when it comes to GLP ones I've changed my tune a little bit I've softened up a little bit to where if it's used as a tool in combination with recovery, look you are never going to lose weight and keep it off unless you address the underlying issue. You have to be in recovery to ever lose weight and keep it off. Otherwise, I'm just telling you, I'm just being frank. You are not going to lose weight and you are never going to keep it off if you're just dieting. They just don't work and they put you further in the hole. You've got to address the underlying issue. There's a reason that you're overeating.

[11:35] You're trying to comfort yourself with food and we need to figure out what that reason is. You're using, in air quotes, food. Okay. Otherwise, you're just white-knuckling it through a diet until the diet's over. All right. So you're not. Let me ask you, as somebody who had this issue and has at least turned the corner, I'll say that. Yeah. It sounds like we can say you've never fully arrived. No, and I don't ever want to fully arrive. I work on my recovery every day. It's a journey. I've been off sugar like four and a half years, and it's a journey. I work on it because it's precious to me. Okay. So let me just ask you this, then. What does your current day look like routine-wise when you're clicking on all cylinders?

[12:24] I'm so glad you asked me that because I wanted to have a chance to share what I think the number one key to success is, even though it might be traumas that you're dealing with in your past causing you to eat or grief or loneliness or boredom was the big trigger for me, is I plan out my day. Like I made something today that will be for my next six breakfasts. So I know for the next six days, before I go to bed at night, I know what all my meals are going to look like. I have a schedule that I look at before I go to bed at night. If I have a 15 minute downtime, I know that can be a trigger. So I'll pre-think about what could I fill in that spot. I do an educational video every day. so maybe I'll do a little video editing or maybe I'll text a friend or maybe I'll tie up a loose end here a zoom invite for my, upcoming podcast guests but having a very clear plan, and staying in future self protects me more than anything I do I food prep all my meals in advance so literally during the day I'm just pulling out.

[13:35] Food that is usually measured out already in a container by itself. And I either have to eat it, heat it up or just eat it as is. But there's no think. There's no think in it. I don't depend on willpower. I don't depend on decisions. Because I made that decision 10 days ago, I started planning out what's the next week look like. I'm going to go to the grocery store once a week on Friday. I'm going to get everything I need for the following week and I'll food prep over the weekend and it's easy. Easy for me. Easy, but is it fun? I mean, if you've already planned out what you're eating six days from now, what if, what if you just wake up and don't want that? I don't, you know, I don't want eggs. So have you ever heard of parts work? It's called internal family systems where you've got the inner child, the rebellious teen, the responsible adult. Is any of that familiar to you? No, is that a science thing? Is that a month? Yeah, it's.

[14:35] Behavioral analysis thing? Yeah, it's therapy. It's different therapy. And so if you wake up and I've already made your eggs a couple days ago that

[14:45] you're having on Wednesday morning, you go, I don't want those eggs. I don't feel like it. The inner child's running the show. That's when the responsible adult needs to step in and say, honey, I'm sorry you don't feel that way, but that's what we've got on hand. and we're going to just go ahead and consume that because we're not using food for fun. We're using food for nutrition. And so when we let children make adult decisions, you've got a mess on your hand in your life. And I don't let children make my adult decisions. So you just eat it and move on with it. Don't attach emotion to it and giddy up on down the road. I'm not here for you to have a party with every meal. That sounds like a 1970s mom.

[15:29] It sounds like a mom who's trying to reach her goals. And you can do it in a very loving, compassionate way, but I'm not here to have a party. I want to have a party in the rest of my life. I want to be successful. And that's where I want to have fun. Not in the kitchen. I make good, creative food because if you follow me on social media, you'll see recipes every week, several times a week. And I always say, if you're not having fun, we're doing something wrong. Because I think recovery is a blast. Why? Because I feel so freaking good about who I am and what I'm doing and I'm not mired in depression. So I don't have those whiny moments anymore about, I just don't want to do it. And when it comes to food prep, yeah, it takes time, but it saves me hours during the week. And also I put a reel up just a couple of days ago about how I was prepping the salad and I had a Netflix show in the background that I could watch while I was doing it. And believe me, that hour flew by and I was just engrossed.

[16:35] So it's trickery. It's a series of edits. You make it fun. And you also don't tell yourself, this is boring and I hate it. You're like, wow, I'm doing something really good for myself. I'm so proud of myself. I wasn't asking to be boring, but it was just one of those things where planning that far out, I mean, do you ever deviate? Do you have any in terms of, are you cooking, is this breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack? I mean, are you accounting for all that? I usually have like four meals a day. One of them  s.

[17:11] A sizable meal and the other just regular size meals. And that, so you just kind of play around and see what works for you. And believe me, I hate every second of that food prep. I hate it, but I've learned how to work it to where it's an enjoyable. So I'm not doing the food prep. I'm actually going to watch a Netflix show. And while I'm watching the show, I'm peeling and chopping carrots.

[17:36] Interesting. It's, it's, it's mindset. It's reframing. It's all in how you look at it. You are your thoughts. Everything you do is a product of your thoughts. And so you can change your thoughts and you can change your perspective and you can really be on your own team. You and your thoughts can be a majority. You can be a force that can't be broken, or you can be in the fetal position, sucking your thumb going, I don't want to do this, but it depends on what your goals are. Yeah. Now your food prep, you mentioned that one of the four pillars is the single ingredient food. So how in depth are you getting with these meal preps in these recipes and stuff? Can I just share what a single ingredient food is? For some people listening,

[18:32] sometimes they don't understand what that is. Yes, I would. So a single ingredient food. Answer.

[18:40] I like to say it's anything that Mother Nature has touched. If water and sunshine had to be involved in it, then that's a single ingredient. Like you can see it with your eyeballs, an orange, an apple, a banana, a piece of rice, a bean, meat, eggs, grains, those type of things.

[19:01] There's not really an ingredient label because you can see it. Usually there's not commercials for it on TV. If it's made in a factory, then it's been processed some way and there's a long list of ingredients. If it's got more than three ingredients, it's been processed somewhere, like a can of tuna or a can of vegetables. That's pretty minimally processed. But other than that, your body's going to have to do a lot of work because you're giving it foods that it's not naturally, designed to process physically. And there's a whole lot of chemical reactions that are going to have to take place. So you've got your made up cells. Every bite you take goes into your cells, and inside your cells is called mitochondria. And there are little factories in there that are ledgering every bite you take either to cellular repair or cellular aging. That's how destructive processed food is. So your single-ingredient foods help repair, and processed foods age your cells.

[20:12] It's toxic to the body. I mean, it's killing us. I'm so passionate about this, but it's killing us. We've got a medical system, that's going to collapse because, of all the diseases that sugar is the dot I can't get off of today. But I mean, obesity, metabolic disease, cancers, type 3 diabetes that they're calling Alzheimer's now, it's just there's a slew, of diseases that come because of sugar and processed food. It's the, preventable deaths in America. It's huge. I mean, we probably have a million deaths a year that could be prevented by changing your diet. It's literally killing us. I'm not being dramatic. No, I know. I know. I'm on a sidestep here because as you were going through your single ingredient, you talked about the recipes. You've said that before. Folks, if you go to the website.

[21:23] Realfoodrecovery4u.com. Yeah, number four, letter U. Yep. There's a recipe tab. Recipe tab. I was going to pull that up. I'm going to switch over to your food fitness with all your vegetables and all of that stuff. And now that part of the community is actually free, it looks like, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can go on the website. Yeah. And you know what? I've got good news. Do you want to hear it? Yes. Your taste buds change as you get off sugar and processed food. Your taste buds literally will change to their normal factory settings. So you're not craving that stuff anymore. Your cravings will go from a 12 to a three on a scale of one to 10. And so, yeah, I get niggling s every once in a while, but I just feel them, name it and it just kind of passes on, through and fruit becomes sweeter vegetables become sweeter i mean you're going to be so happy to have that out of your system it's a whole new life waiting for you if you can get off sugar.

[22:27] So i was going to ask i don't see a tab for simple recipes and i was looking at the first ones you have on there these i mean when you have 10 plus ingredients and all these instructions they feel like cooking, for somebody like me who is not a big cook, i can take chicken and put it in the air fryer, great no that's great then yeah you will you figure out what works for you if it's chicken and some vegetables and some fruit, rock on man be your own Picasso or look at mine and get an idea of something I ve done and then make it your own i was going to say do you have a simple one off the top of your head you can think of oh i see smoothies yeah.

[23:16] I did something the other day that had 50 grams of protein in fact I m going to work on it tomorrow where, i fried an egg with like a cup of egg whites and a cup and a half of 0% Fahy Greek yogurt and had 300 calories and 50 grams of protein, a little salsa on top. Amazing. That was like three ingredients. What was the name of that yogurt? Yeah.

[23:44] F-A-G-E. I love it. It's my favorite. Fahey. And I did the 0% fat. And that's two or three down from the top of my recipe list because I did it recently. But 50 grams of protein. Is that something I can find in a regular grocery store? Uh-huh. Yeah. Just in the yogurt section. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All my ingredients are real simple. And if that first one that I had listed, I know what you're talking about. I just did that yesterday, I think. But that was because I made a homemade pasta sauce. And I was teaching, is that about the roasted red bell peppers? It's the roasted vegetable sauce chicken pasta meal. Yeah, that was a big one. I admit that was a big one. And it took me a long time to edit that video. I don't know what you can say, so. Yeah. But most of them are not that involved. But I made that, and that's going to last me an entire week, too. And it and so i do recipes and i pack as many vegetables in there every chance i get to beef it up with vegetables.

[24:51] All right let's be sure to go back and talk about the community the, real recovery for you community first thing i need to say is we should probably let people know or i should ask for them this is something you have to join, and you have that you do, yes you can sign up for the email on my website that's free if you want and the email the podcast is free, our social media site that i post an educational reel every day it might be a recipe or it might be a principle, that's free so you got uh the Facebook and is that Instagram up there Instagram TikTok YouTube mm-hmm i am, It's a necessary evil.

[25:45] All right. Look at you there. If I were rich, I would. What is that? Yeah. So I made a little video about if I were rich, I would. And then people are supposed to fill in the blank. But my reel was about I would have somebody peel my ginger every day because I love to make ginger tea where you just peel the fresh ginger and simmer it in water for 20, 25 minutes. And, oh, it's good. That's what you do with that? So I make ginger tea, but I do ginger and lemon turmeric. Oh, that sounds good too. And you just simmer that? With a dash of honey, yeah. Yeah. I just don't, that honey is a trigger for me, so got to leave out the honey. Really? Anything?

[26:30] I don't eat anything sweet. Interesting. I just don't mess with fire. I've come too far and I've worked too hard. I just don't mess with it and I don't crave it. So why bother? Okay. I hear you. So if somebody like me popped up in your group and said, okay, here's my story. I don't want to do a program. Don't want to go to the gym. Just want to, you know, try to do a healthier diet, move a little more.

[27:02] What would you say to somebody? I would say, let's talk about what is your planning like? Are you making your food decisions that day last minute or are you, planning things out in advance so that you've got a firm plan in place yeah i don't i don't, i don't plan my meals that far ahead that that's i that would be the first thing i might plan during the grocery trip but it's not determined it's not determined which day I m going to eat those things or whatever i make you know, here's chicken. Hopefully this chicken will last for the week. Mm-hmm.

[27:39] So two, two things I would say, if you, if that really is truly your goal is to eat a little bit better, you need to plan a little bit better. If that's your, if you want success in your goals, you're going to need to do, make a little effort here and plant planning protects people more than anything else. So that was one thing. And I had something else really important that I was going to tell you. And now it just went out of my brain. It might come back Or was it going to, you know, force me to think and re-evaluate my life? I wish I could tell you Is it going to be hard? No, it's never hard And I do want to reiterate, this is fun We're here to make it fun, not drudgery Because, you need to build a life you don't want to escape from, and so you've got if we're not having fun you're not going to stick with it but, I that's why we find what are the ingredients that you like what would pull you to want to make a plan and look forward to it and when I make something I make multiples so I don't have to, repeat that process So I can give myself time to do things, read a book or.

[29:04] Connect with a grandchild or go for a walk or water my flowers or things like that. That's where I want to get all my pleasure from. But yeah, making a plan, I think, is the number one key to success and being able to stick to your plan. Oh, I know what it was. Everybody lean in. Everybody lean in again. This is another big one. Clean out the junk in your house. If it's in your house, it's in your mouth. So get rid of those jelly beans. Hand them over right now. Hand them to me right now. Get rid of those jelly beans. They're not here. They're gone. Okay, they're gone. But yeah, cleaning out your house. Don't have it in your house because it's just a temptation just waiting. So if your goal really is to get off sugar, that is the, besides planning and preparing your food in advance, is cleaning out your environment.

[29:58] There's no reason to just have it around talking to you when you walk by what if you've got somebody else on the house that's like don't throw away that food that's a great question that's one of the biggest issues that people face yeah so my husband passed away recently but when he was still living we had an agreement to where he had his own cabinet, that i don't go in unless I m looking for trouble. So that was just how we worked it out in our house is that if you don't mind, would you just keep, you know, your 10 different packages of cookies and your sugar laden cereal, and your potato chips of every kind in that cupboard. And unless I'm jonesing for a fix, I'm not even go in there. Did that work? I mean, did he have a lot? Yeah. Did he have a lot? No, he probably should have, but he didn't have a lock and I just knew that that just wasn't for me. I just didn't want to open those floodgates of pain and misery. That's all that was waiting for me on the other side of that door. Now, were there times? Of course, I'm just human and I'm going to reach my capacity is what I call it. There'll be times that I reach capacity as well. And yeah, I would have a sidestep.

[31:20] But he's been gone about seven months now, and yeah, this house is spick and span. And.

[31:29] Now, there's nothing calling me in the back of my brain about that cabinet, but people work at different ways where they might have their own room that maybe is their office that they keep things or they might keep things in their car. But generally, our family members love us and they want to see us succeed, especially if we're really suffering from this. And so we just try and work out a system that will support their loved one. Yeah, generally, they love us. sometimes.

[32:01] Stop bringing this food here. I told you, don't bring it. It's like, and the office is the worst. People just bring junk in all the time. It is.

[32:11] You've got a book that I want to make sure we talk about as well. And of course, it's titled Real Food Recovery, but it's got a subtitle, If Food Isn't the Answer, What's the question. So without giving us that answer, tell people what they should expect out of your book. Well, it's kind of a self-help biography of my journey and how I handled, the food, the sleep, the exercise, the spirituality, and then the other several smaller branches of our focus. And so it's kind of a roadmap to help you walk through that journey too. If you don't want to join our program, you can read the book and a lot of personal stories in there. A lot of stories of how I overcame obstacles. And I think it's leaves people with a lot of hope. And by the way, I think I'm a little bit funny. And there's a few funny stories in there too, that you might enjoy.

[33:16] So yeah, it's an easy read. And I think you will get some direction and hope, especially for people that feel hopeless. And then you can always go to our website and sign up for our email, like I mentioned. And I'm always willing to meet with anybody just one-on-one for free to talk about our program in depth and what they might need and how we can help them as well. All right. That sounds great. It's Paige Alexander, everybody. RealFoodRecoveryForYou.com is the website, Real Food Recovery Podcast. We'll have the links for that and the Real Food recovery book. Obviously, a lot of different places you can go to plug in to what Paige is building there. So thank you very much. It's been a pleasure. I've really enjoyed visiting with you. Well, thank you, Paige. Thank you for, Giving me some work.

[34:15] Good kid there. And follow Paige on all the socials, folks. She's on Facebook, YouTube, TikTok. She's on the gram. Yeah. What the kids say.

[34:26] But definitely thank you for walking us through what this looks like in real life. So. Thanks so much. All right. That's going to do it, folks. If you're listening and you heard yourself in this conversation, Well, don't let it stop here, of course. As I said earlier, go plug into what Paige is building. Look her up at all the places that'll be in the show notes. As Paige herself said, this is a community and you don't have to white knuckle this on your own. There are some tools and a way to help you feel more in control of your food and your life. So take what landed for you today. Pick one step. That's what I always say. one thing, put it in your practice, go follow Paige and keep learning, folks. That'll do it for this episode. We'll see you soon. And until next time, live healthy and be happy.