Becoming Your Own Hero After Trauma (EP 125)

Hello, friends. Uncle Marv here with another episode of my Unhealthy Podcast.

And we are back with part two of my conversation with Tracy Smaldino from Trauma

Rockstars. And in the first episode, Tracy shared her story.

We talked about the difference between just surviving and actually starting to heal.

And I asked her some awkward questions, and we're going to try to do a much better

effort this time. And so I want to take the conversation, obviously, further.

So Tracy, welcome back. Thank you. And your questions were amazing.

So don't say that. That's good.

Let's kind of do a recap by, I'll ask this question as the recap.

When you started doing the healing work, what was the first real change that you

noticed in your day-to-day life?

The learning how the breath work with the meditation you know learning how to,

because I don't want to say that I was high strung but I was kind of a spaz with a

little bit with life and running all over the place so I learned how to calm down,

and really um just chill out. Like, I never really knew how to do that before.

And so that was one of the most important tools that I still use today. Nice, nice.

Before we get too far in, was there any question that I asked in terms of, you know,

the first show that you thought I could have asked better or maybe deserved a

different answer? Anything we want to clarify before we move on?

No, not clarify, but I just want to emphasize this, and I can't say this enough.

I want people to, not be overwhelmed about what healing might look like, but to get

excited about it. So I cannot stress that enough to people. Okay.

So one of the concepts that you talked about was, you know, learning to listen to

your body.

And we didn't know much about the nervous system, you know, back in the day and

stuff.

So I know that when I've had people on and we've talked about, you know, healthy

eating and weight and stuff like that.

Most people understand what that means, but when it comes to trauma, can you

describe what it means to listen to your body?

I know we started to talk about that last episode, but I want to see if we can dig a

little deeper and explain to people what that really means.

Well, I think it takes practice. You know, practice makes perfect.

It's not something that's going to happen overnight.

I think people need to understand, like, for instance, I told you, I got triggered

this morning, today, and I all of a sudden started getting a little anxious, and I

would get nuts in my stomach, and that pain that I get in my right shoulder blade

was starting to come back, and I was like, okay, I need to step back and breathe and

calm down, and then, what I learned is when you get triggered, It's usually a

message that is that is coming to you. So I need to stop.

And I actually still haven't had a chance to do this yet because I was busy working

all day.

But I need to when you and I are done, I'm going to sit down and I'm going to write

down what those feelings felt like and what was going on that gave me those

feelings. And I will start getting the answers I need.

And one thing about your healing journey, a lot of times you'll feel great, you'll

feel like you're doing so good, and then boom, something happens and you feel like

you took 10 steps backwards.

Well, it's not that you're taking 10 steps backwards, you just haven't learned the

complete lesson yet of what you were supposed to.

So that's why I say give yourself grace, because it takes time.

And maybe you learn 75% of the message, but there's still a small nugget of it that

you still have to learn.

So that's where I really encourage people to step back and identify those triggers.

What specifically is triggering you? Was it a person?

Was it something somebody said? Was it a song?

Maybe a song, you know, might trigger somebody. Was it just nothing?

Maybe you just got triggered.

Maybe your subconscious put something in your mind and, you know, it's a lesson.

So I want people to look at these all as lessons and not look at it that it's a

setback.

So you just mentioned that you still need to kind of process that from this morning.

So I was going to ask you, you know, if you found out what that was or are you still

kind of thinking, because a lot of people may have something happen and have no idea

what triggered it, but. Right, right.

And that's, and that happens a lot, actually, especially when you're on your healing

journey, it just might come out of nowhere.

Like sometimes I'll wake up, I'll be dreaming or something and I'll wake up and

it'll happen.

And that's really when you need to take a step back and give yourself a little bit

of time to think about what that might have been, what that feeling was, because

it's all about identifying the feeling.

When you can identify the way it's making you feel is when you can actually take

away its power. So, and I can only speak for myself.

And I, like I said, I still get triggered, obviously.

Things, you know, that's going to happen the rest of my life.

I'm still, there's going to be things, but now I have the tools.

I know the tools, what I have to do.

Like today, I, I got a text from somebody and that's what triggered me.

So I didn't have time to deal with it, but I was able to take it, to calm myself and

take, do some breath work.

And then I will address it later and I'll write about it in my journal.

Um, so it, sometimes it hits out of nowhere and you don't even know why, but that's

where you have to have the tools to do it.

And you mentioned something that I think I don't want to gloss over.

A lot of things we have to deal with for the rest of our life.

A lot of people, we're in a world now where it's like, okay, how do I get rid of

this? And how do I do it in 30 minutes? You know, like a sitcom.

Or seconds or 30 seconds sometimes.

What else can I take, you know, to get rid of this and stuff?

And you talk about some things you just have to live with.

So I imagine that a lot of people, that's one of the barriers that they have to

fight through is learning to accept this is who I am this is how life is, how do I

manage it going forward right yeah and everybody's so busy you know with work with

families with everything like literally you might have 30 seconds to deal with it

but one thing you learn when you're going through this is you have to take time for

yourself, Even if it's 30 seconds, you have to step away for 30 seconds and just,

you know, get yourself together.

But you nobody. OK.

And I know we talked about before we took the break about becoming your own hero.

And this is why I say this all the time, because I.

And I talk about this in my keynotes, and it can be shocking to people, but I look

at it like I'm not doing anybody any favors lying to them.

So I'm going to be honest with you. And guess what? No one's coming to save you.

Nobody. The only person that's going to do that is yourself.

So, you know, I'm going to help you with tools, or you can, you know, listen to the

show and tools other trauma survivors have done.

But you have to take the bull by the barns.

And in the beginning of your trauma journey, that's why I say the first step is,

well, it's awareness, obviously, but it's really setting those boundaries.

But it gets so much easier once you do that.

Interesting. So let me do this. I'm sorry. I had something stuck in my head.

You're fine. I've had it on my notes.

And it was, sorry, I was listening to one of your shows.

Um, and I think it was yesterday, the day before, and it was talking about, Fall

Reset. Yeah. I don't remember which show, and I apologize. It was a recent show.

And you were talking about why do people always try to do a reset at the beginning

of the year? And you were talking about fall is the natural time to do that.

And, you know, kids go back to school. Yeah.

And there was a part of me that was thinking, you know what?

I think spring is much more of a� Fall and spring. I was going to add to you.

I twice a year, I think it's funny because like the reason I talk about with kids

going back to school, because so many people can relate with their kids and we're

starting to get our patterns back, you know, from summer break and everything like

that. So to me personally, I think fall and spring work for me.

I actually just it's fall right now, but I just did some spring cleaning myself and

getting rid of stuff and decluttering and things like that.

But I think twice a year, because everybody like, oh, New Year's, we're going to set

a New Year's resolution. So for years I would like, well, I don't like that.

So for years I would do my, I would do like a vision board and I'd set my New Year

intention kind of thing instead of a resolution.

But by the time it's, you know, the end of February, beginning of March, it kind of

falls off. So now I just do it fall and in the springtime.

And I encourage people to do this.

So when this concept came to me, it was during tax season, which is spring.

And I was like, well, it depends.

Some people file quarterly for their businesses, but you know what I mean.

It was tax season.

And I'm like, you know, it's tax season and everybody's like doing an audit.

They're looking at their finances. or meeting with their accountant, the tax person.

And I'm like, this is the time that we need to be doing a life audit.

Like we need to look at not just the financial piece.

And by the way, trauma has a huge impact on how you look at finances.

And I have a whole show about that.

But on the whole financial piece, we need to do a life audit.

So I created like I literally woke up thinking of this at two o'clock in the

morning. So I created a life audit quiz and it's free. It's on the website.

I know you're aware of it.

And it's very quick. It's literally eight questions.

It probably will take you five minutes to go through it.

But it gives you an idea with this life audit of kind of where you're at

emotionally, you know, mentally, you know, with your, with your life.

And there's no wrong answer at all.

But there's four different outcomes that could happen.

And you'll get, you know, a description of those depending on where you land.

There's four different outcomes. But it's very, very eye-opening for people.

And when I have people take it, they're like, oh, my gosh. Like.

Very few people get it that they're all together. They have it all together.

You know, most people are struggling one way or another with something.

And I think a lot of it is just because, like you said, life, we're all so busy.

What's going on in the world sucks.

You know, we're getting so much negative information handed to us.

Like you said, you don't watch the news. I don't either.

It's not that I don't want to be informed.

I just don't want all that negative energy around me and that negative talk.

And, you know, I've worked so hard to get where I'm at.

So, I mean, I want to be informed but like at a high level kind of thing.

And so taking this life audit can be very, very eye-opening for people.

And I would say that's like, if this is even resonating a little bit, I would say

start there and take it and see where you fall.

Because even if you get the, you have all your shit together result, there's still

work you can do. Always. Always.

And that's why I said I never want to be completely healed because I want to

continue to evolve and learn and continue to become like the best version of myself.

So that's what's so exciting about starting a journey like this.

And that's why I'm kind of like a cheerleader about it because there are hard

moments.

But I think that when you look at me and don't suppress your shit for 40 years,

first of all.

And it's like, you know, look at me of what not to do, but also look at me as to

give you hope. Right. To know how things can end up.

Well, here's why that got stuck in my head.

And it was the idea that society has the blueprint of how we're supposed to be, when

we're supposed to do things, how we're supposed to act.

You know, the, the January reset, the, you know, the way that we should be in

relationships and all of that stuff and how I've learned to kind of go my own way.

Um, I'm not going to say it's healthier.

I mean, I could be just as screwed up as anybody, but I wanted to ask you when, when

you started going through this and started, you know, helping people and going

through that, what are some things that we've gotten wrong with how we deal with

stuff like this?

I mean, And the whole idea of suppressing trauma as a male who grew up in sports,

you know, if you were hurt, you rubbed dirt on it and you got back out there and you

manned up. Yeah.

In a lot of ways, that's what we're taught in life is, you know, don't let people

see you cry. Yeah.

I'm so glad you brought that up because believe it or not, like a lot of men reach

out to me because, men have it so hard because they aren't taught to share their

emotions and cry and let things out.

Like girls are a little bit more taught to do that just by nature, but men are

taught to bottle things up and.

Even more so than we are. And so I do have a lot of men reach out to me.

And what I try and encourage, and it's not just men, but women too, but men

especially, is vulnerability.

Like, being vulnerable and really taking a deep look, like, that's your secret

sauce.

And being able to get the strength and power to do that, is going to do so much more

for you to get but you've got to get comfortable with being vulnerable and you have

to make sure you're in a safe space, whether it's home alone you know with your dog

or with somebody in your life that you could feel comfortable doing that with maybe

there isn't anybody in your life you feel comfortable and you need somebody like me

to help you with that you know, but find what works for you but I swear every man

listening to this that vulnerability is your secret sauce, and back when I grew up

this is you know back 80s and 90s we were talking about trauma I was just told to be

a good little girl don't ruffle any feathers you know you're taught to just be

polite and, don't question your elders and don't you know don't have a voice, so

that's a lot of the reason why I didn't tell anybody about the sexual assault,

because I didn't want to ruffle any more feathers.

Like my family had already been through enough with my accident.

A lot's changed now.

We talk so much more about trauma and our nervous system and being vulnerable and

things like that. It's so much, it's socially acceptable now where it wasn't.

Even 10 years ago, we weren't even talking about as much as we are now.

So we've come a long way. We have.

Oh, and I want to say real quick, I'm so sorry, before I forget, you mentioned

about...

Um, when you first started talking about it made me think a lot of, a lot of reason

why we don't deal with things head on is because of fear. Everything's fear based.

We're afraid of the results. We're afraid what's going to happen.

We're, everything's fear based.

And so if you can, if you can find the strength within you to let go of that fear,

it'll open up your heart to be able to, you know, deal with everything.

And it's normal to be fear-based. We all, that's why we don't deal with it.

Because we're, you know, we're afraid. But I want people to understand that.

And it's nothing abnormal. Okay.

That asks, that opens up another question.

People are afraid more than ever, but at the same time, we are looking for

acceptance more than ever.

And everybody thinks that, you know, you have to look and act and be a certain way.

And this YouTube society now is driving that home even more.

So how do people get to the point where they can actually deal with stuff without

all of that outside noise?

Because even if somebody does start to address trauma, we still have all these

images of how things are supposed to be you know including how you deal with the

trauma because you have to deal with it in a certain way right if you're going to

just like when somebody comes out and gives an apology for something they did in

public or, now it's all about you know what did they sound sincere.

There's a whole there's a whole mess of stuff that goes with that now so.

What's your thought on that it's a lot of pressure with influencers and social media

and everything but i want people to realize a lot of that isn't real, some of it

might be but you're seeing like 30 seconds of somebody's life, you don't know when

that you know when they get off of that post or whatever they're doing or whatever

you're seeing, what's really going on.

The problem is, is you cannot, how do you expect to picture the life you want?

Picture what exactly what you want in your life.

How do you expect to get any of that if you're not being your full authentic self?

Stop trying to please anybody else but you. That's why you have to be your own hero.

You cannot get the love you want, the acceptance you want, the praise you want if

you're not giving it to yourself.

So if you're feeling like nothing's working out, it's probably because you have some

work to do, which is a good thing.

And you need to take steps to be that authentic version of yourself.

I was so like, I was, I look back, I was so fake. I was so unauthentic.

I was so just trying to keep up with everybody else and be cool because I was in the

music scene that I was so uncool.

If I had just been myself, I would have been able to build so much more stronger and

deeper relationships.

But is that you looking back or did you have hints along the way?

Did people drop comments and stuff that you look back on later and be like, oh, that

person was right?

No, I mean, well, my one friend that I told you used to tell me, you know, know your

worth.

You know, my one friend, you know, and some, you know, some close people would.

But now I look at, is this serving me or is it not serving me?

And I say no to anything that's not.

And, um, and I, you know, I want, but I have to, how am I supposed to have somebody,

have this unconditional love and affection toward me if I don't even feel that way

about myself?

So I have to look in the mirror and, you know, there's times that I feel like crap.

I mean, obviously, but I have to look in the mirror and I have to give myself what I

want to receive.

And we can go down a whole rabbit hole about that and the energy you're putting out

there in the universe. But I talk a lot about that on my shows.

But it's really important to just have that awareness and understand how you're

projecting yourself.

Well, I was just going to say, so, so listening to your shows and going through

stuff, half of what you talk about is really developing a better mindset.

You know, once, once you, you know, get through the trauma and then it's building

that mindset.

But a lot of what you talk about when it comes to mindset can just be anybody, you

know, people that don't have a trauma can benefit from what you're, you're talking

about.

How many people, and I was going to ask you about how many men come to you

voluntarily or how many come to you because somebody said you need to go see

somebody. Yeah, it's shocking.

Like I have, I have somebody that I was coaching a couple of weeks ago and, she

messaged me after we got, cause I was a little hard on her, you know, but I, I'm not

going to be sugar.

I'm not going to be rainbows and butterflies because I want you to see that needle

move as fast as possible.

But I was a little bit hard on her and, you know, we got off and she sent me a text

a couple hours later and she's like, I have been doing 20 weeks of virtual therapy.

And though, you know, 35 minutes I was with you helped me more than these past 20

weeks, someone's going to be calling you.

And they referred me to somebody and said, �You need to.

I'm shocked at how many men have been really stepping up to the plate and reaching

out. And I think that it's very scary to think about this journey, like I said.

But I want people to understand that, yeah, but you've been scared for your entire

life. So I deal with a lot of childhood trauma.

Most of the people I work with are childhood trauma. But again, trauma is trauma.

It doesn't matter.

Like you said, people might maybe had not really been through any major trauma, but

the entire world went through the pandemic.

So that's, if you think you haven't, you have. Yeah.

And even if you don't feel it, people around you did. And that affects us and stuff.

Right.

So I'm just sitting here thinking of me, and this is where my own personal therapy

comes in.

So I'm trying to think, there have been events in my life that to some people might

be considered traumatic, but not to me.

Are there times where you have to work with people and kind of get them to see that,

hey, that's a trauma, you need to deal with it?

Well, you find out really quickly because when they start talking about a certain

situation that happened, the first thing I say is, well, how is it making you feel?

And people are like, well, what do you mean?

And I'm like, well, how is it making you feel like how is it affecting your life

now? Is it affecting your kids? Is it affecting your husband, your partner?

You know, how is it affecting you?

And if they're like, no, and I'm like, OK, well, then we need to move on from that

because you're still feeling stuck. So maybe that's not it.

And sometimes you just don't know. You've got to do some work.

It's like peeling away an onion, you know.

Sometimes you have to just do the work to figure out what it might be.

If you're all in, you will figure it out. Like I said, I didn't know.

I thought I was fine. I thought I was living a great life. And boy, was I not.

And, you know, it just it takes work to discover it.

But if you're feeling, like I said, if you're feeling off at all, there's something

to work. There's something you need to work at.

Well, I don't feel off, so I'll just. Well, I mean, because you're Uncle Mark.

But I'm also, so in my head, I'm trying to think there have got to be people that

they know. They know there's trauma. Yeah.

They won't deal with it, whether it's fear or whatever.

If you're around somebody like that, do you have to work with people that are in

that situation?

Because that in itself could be a trauma that you're dealing with somebody who's not

dealing with their trauma. Yeah, it's almost like caregivers need caring too, right?

Yeah, I mean, you can see it in people's body language.

Like I could go out someplace and be in a social gathering or something, and I could

look around and I could tell you just by somebody's body language, Like they've done

no work. They've done zero work.

You can just tell like once you start identifying your own, you know, cues and

things like that.

But I'm going to say, I think I briefly mentioned this early on early on in the

show. It's really not about the trauma. The trauma is in the past.

It's about how it's affecting your life now and how it's making you feel now and the

people around you that you love and care for, how it's affecting them.

Like, what might you be missing out on in life?

What do you see in your life that you're not reaching?

It's not really about the trauma.

And so I think that if people can realize that, we don't want to live in the past.

We don't want to be victims, live in victimology. I mean, well, some people do.

Some people love to be in victim mode. But, you know, we don't want that.

So, sorry, I just heard something weird.

But, you know, the people that don't, that don't want to live in victim mode and

want help, you really need to identify and realize it's really, it's, we don't want

to live in the past. We want to live now and look forward to the future.

So let's deal with that now.

So a lot of that, if you've got people that don't want to deal with stuff.

We talked a little bit about boundaries.

I said something, you said, oh, that's a boundary. Yeah.

How much of it can be boundaries, either that we placed or didn't place, and how

much of it can be just simply about exhaustion in today's age?

Every, yes, suppressing trauma is exhausting. Are you sleeping? No.

Well, maybe sometimes you are sleeping, but you're still exhausted.

You're just mentally exhausted. You're physically exhausted. It's exhausting.

It's like, you know, that saying, fake it till you make it. I hate that saying.

You can't fake it. You know, I faked it for 40 freaking years.

Look what it did for me.

I missed out on 40 years of my life because I wasn't dealing with all this stuff

that was going on with me. Now I have the next 40 years, God willing.

But I feel like, you know, you've got to, you've got to look at like everything that

it's affecting, you know, that's why I want you to do the audit.

That's why I have the life audit because it addresses all of this. Right.

Okay. Let me, let me throw this wrench. Play devil's advocate.

Some people are going to look at your life and be like, 40 years of being in the

music industry and being that rock star lifestyle, I want that life.

What do you say to those people?

Because they're going to sit there and say, you know, come on, how much trauma can

you really have had if you had that life?

Oh, well, go for it. If that's the life you want, go for it.

But what does getting there look like?

You know, what is that going to look like to you?

Yes, there were, there was many amazing experiences I have.

I mean, you, you name it, I've worked with them.

You know, I've had amazing experiences.

I still have incredible friendships with people from the business I worked in and

things like that.

There was a lot of great things, but I would have had so many more memorable

experiences and stronger relationships if I had just been myself and I never could

let my guard down.

And one thing that has been the hardest thing for me to work on is I've had trust

issues my entire life since all of this has happened since my accident I've had

major trust issues, and that's one thing that sometimes still creeps out I still see

it creeping out a little bit um, in me and that's something I'll probably work on

forever, but I know this now because of the work I've done But that's what I'm

saying. What life do you want? Do you want a life like that?

It wasn't all glamorous. m. m. load-outs, another show's rolling in.

That part's not glamorous at all. It was a lot of hard work.

So, you know, nothing's glamorous.

You know, even, you know, you look at people that you admire, celebrities, and they

have their own struggles, too.

So, you know, I encourage people to think about that.

Yeah, we see a lot of times where the life that we think is great and then

underneath they're suffering and they're just in pain and covering things up.

So I get it.

Yeah, I mean, look at how these horrible, you know, we see people that have it all.

Fame, money, everything in the world they could possibly have.

And they're like some of the most miserable people that you see.

Because money, it's true. Like money is not going to make you happy.

What's going to make you happy is what's in here and what's in here yeah well it's,

it's the traps that come with money and the expectations yeah and the you know I�ve

got to I�ve got to work this hard to keep what i got and, i have to live up to the

image that now it's out there um i realized long time ago i thought i was going to

do some stuff and I�ve looked back and be like, I would not have been good in any of

those scenarios.

Thank goodness that didn't happen. Yeah, it's so true.

And, you know, like I said, I have a whole show on how trauma affects finances and

your relationship with money. And I still struggle with that still to this day.

You know, I still struggle with it. But now I'm aware. I'm aware of it.

And knowledge is power, right?

So I think that you get all these gifts when you start going through this healing

journey of things that you never really maybe thought about before.

And like I said, don't worry about what you see on social media because they're

struggling in their own way. They're not showing you that.

com. You've got the life audit quiz that's right there you can take.

But when somebody is reaching out to you, what is it that you're actually offering?

Because are you a licensed therapist? I am not. Did you go through any training?

and just uh uh, my own journey and you know my own education no I'm not so I, I

encourage people to and I have a disclaimer that I am not a certified therapist and

if that's something if you're questioning your mental health maybe that could be

your first step I am more well, because of the music framework I refer to myself as

your tour manager I'm going to be your tour manager through your healing journey.

So I coach people.

But the people I work with have already done some work, they've done the therapy,

they've done, you know, the, shows, watched, you know, the journals, read the books,

all that.

But they're still feeling, like I said, the needle still isn't moving as fast as

they want. Those are the people I work with.

If you're just starting your healing journey, I would encourage you to reach out to

like a licensed therapist or somebody that can help you with that.

Because I'm more of just your guide and I'll give you some suggestions and tips that

might work once, you know, we get to know each other.

But, you know, I'm not going to give you the clinical level of expertise that, you

know, a psychologist or psychiatrist or somebody like that could do for you.

So I want, you know, like I said, I like to be more referred to as your tour guide

through your healing journey. And I have a program that people can look at.

And I always do a free consultation because we want to talk first, get to know each

other.

And there's, there's quite a bit of people that I have to turn away because they're

not ready yet. They still have some steps they need to do.

But I, you know, we always want to talk first because I want to make sure it's a

good fit.

Like they feel comfortable with me i feel comfortable with them and things like that

right so I�m going to ask the question that a listener may ask you know outside of

your story, and the fact that you're now willing to talk about it and stuff if

you're not you know licensed and you're not a therapist you know why are you so

special, Because I figured out the tools to, you know, a lot of times I'm going to

explain it this way. And this is no mock on therapists.

There's a lot of therapists out there.

But I've sat in front of therapists for months, years on end.

And you feel like you're talking in circles. And nothing's working.

Well, I figured out the tools that have worked for me, and for other clients that

can move that needle.

And sometimes you just need somebody in your corner to help you through it.

It's overwhelming to try and do it by yourself. And I've done all that.

I've done meditation. I do hypnotherapy. I did MDMA therapy.

I do still have a therapist that I talk to.

But when we talk, we do breath work. We meditate together.

Those are the kind of things that she and I do together.

Um so I�ve tried all these other modalities and, then experiences can be incredible

um but you know you've got to figure out what works for you can there's no rule book

your journey is your journey so you can customize it however you want, if you want

to work with somebody like me and go to a therapist perfect if that's what makes

sense to you do it you know it's up to you like you have the power to control how

it's going to go.

So on your podcast you have a lot of guests that come on, where are they in the

journey and are most of them people that you've worked with or people that are just

at a point where they need to share their story you have a platform where does that,

sit with all of your guests so none of them are clients because that's confidential.

The only person that I've worked with that I've had on the show is my therapist,

Allie, and she's the one that took me through my MDMA journey.

And that's a whole episode through that.

And if you don't know what that is, just Google it.

Um, cause you know, the psychedelic therapy is a big thing right now, but, um,

everybody on there, I've had everybody from just normal people like me.

I've had psychotherapists, I've had sex experts, I've had psychologists, I've had

therapists, I've had authors, I've had medical doctors and they talk about their own

trauma journeys.

Yeah. I looked on there and, uh, first of all, let me ask what happened?

To episode one those first was it the first five aren't there did they just the

first five are there but they're my journey so the first five talk about why trauma

rock stars was born, and my journey and why I�m doing this okay i gotta go find

they're not showing up in my pod catcher so they're not are you on um because I�m on

all platforms well I�m on you know, apple Spotify YouTube I�m on the apple one the

first time we're out of order so maybe they're just not in the right order but i

think it started with episode seven the um, can i say it the transgender oh yeah oh

yeah, now that's a family is that that's with Nani that's a family friend actually

that i grew up with that's on the show and her journey is incredible um, but I�ll

look at that because the first five episodes are literally, you're going to get, if

you listen, you're going to get sick of listening to me, but they're literally about

my journey. But I wanted people to understand the whole story.

Of why I, you know, Trauma Rockstars was born.

So I'll go back and look at that on Apple and see why they're not on there. Okay.

Yeah.

I was just going to say, cause that I, when I, you know, research guests, I like to

go back.

I like to go back to the beginning, you know, where a lot of people will be like,

Oh, your latest episode talks about, you know, I want to, I want to get the nitty

gritty.

com, that'll basically take you everywhere the podcast link is on there the

programs, uh the live quiz you've got the rock star 90 backstage pass that's not

ready yet that's a program in the works but my other program the rock star yeah the

other rock star programs in the because i want you to become your own rock star, um

and i and what makes me different too is the music framework i do the music

framework around the journey. So I think who doesn't like music, you know?

So I think that that helps people a lot.

And then there's a lot of surprises that I bring out of my toolbox that I think is

going to really resonate with people.

But I also have a newsletter that people can sign up for that goes out weekly.

There's a weekly newsletter as well.

And like I said, I'm everything, everything's Trauma Rockstars on all socials, all

wherever you watch your podcast. And I'm very easy to reach out to.

You can email me. You can message me directly. You'll hear back from me.

It won't be somebody else or AI. It'll be me.

And I love when people reach out to me and if I can help them. All right.

Do you have enough of a story for a book? Has anybody asked you to do that?

I have a book coming out the end of the year.

So I wrote, I did, I wrote a book, which I never thought I was going to.

And that's kind of a fun story.

If you have time, I can tell you what happened, but I did.

I, it's a memoir about my journey. Um, it's coming out in December.

I'm super excited.

I'm hoping pre-sales will start, um, by November, the latest for it.

And it's a, it's a memoir slash it's a hybrid because each chapter I have that I

talk about my journey, but at the end, I ask questions for the reader because I want

them to be able to reflect on it.

So it's kind of like a memoir slash self-help all in one. So I'm very excited.

It's called Rockstar Resilience. You're a hot mess. Embrace it and own it.

Okay. Well, I'm going to do this. Don't give me anything about it now. I won't.

When it comes out, let's get back together and chat about it. Yeah.

And I could read some passages from it and we could do a Q&A and I would love it.

Okay. I'm making a note here. Yeah. Perfect.

I'll send you an email when the presale goes out and just so we can, if you want to

set up a call, like around when the book's out and stuff like that.

So people know, but it'll be on, you know, available soon.

That'll be up to your schedule.

So when it happens, let me know and we'll reach out and get something going. Yeah.

And I'll tell you then the story about how the book became because it's quite an

interesting story that I got that I never was going to write a book.

I'm not an author. So I am now. It's amazing how many people say that. Yeah, I know.

But books are huge now. Yeah. All right.

Well, Tracy, I want to say thank you very much for doing this.

Thank you for agreeing to allow for two episodes because I just, I knew I was going

to ask questions and go off track. So thank you for being available for that.

Thank you. I'm so honored you had me. Thank you. I love it.

Um, so I guess the big, the big message, um, obviously you talked about, you know,

it doesn't have to start with a big, great plan, perfect plan.

Everybody's different. Yeah.

And just start noticing, you know, what you're carrying, listen to your body, um,

setting a boundary.

Um, do you have, let's say somebody's listening and they know they've got something,

they're not ready to reach out, address it.

But is there any advice that you can give them to maybe start the journey that they

can do on their own, you know, in the privacy of their own home to get started?

I do. I have the Rockstar 30 program.

It's a 30-day program and it piggybacks off the life audit quiz, depending on where

you're off your answer lands. And it's a workbook and it's a downloadable PDF.

You can print it out if you want, or it's a downloadable PDF that you can use on

your computer or your phone. And it guides you through each day.

So I'm still with you. I'm guiding you through each day.

But it gives you prompts each day to think about.

And where you start on day one and where you end on day 30, you'll be shocked at the

difference. And it's very easy.

It literally, it's 10 minutes a day to do this every day.

So if you can't find 10 minutes for yourself, there's other conversations we need to

have, but it literally takes 10 minutes today to go through the workbook.

Uh folks you can do that at the uh trauma rock stars website uh check that out learn

more about Tracy uh follow the podcast and do the live audit and that uh should get

you started uh Tracy again thank you very much, thank you so much all right folks

and if you got something out of this episode of course I�m going to say do me a

favor uh follow or subscribe check out the guest website and let them know where you

heard about them and get started.

And listen, it's all about fixing what is unhealthy in our lives.

And no better way to do that than to start looking at yourself and figuring out, you

know, what feels good, what feels off and addressing it.

So like we talked about, listen to your body, set a boundary and decide that maybe

you deserve to be taken care therapy for anybody else.

So, uh, that's going to do it for this episode. Thank you for listening.

Uh, we'll catch you on the next episode and then 10 next time live healthy and be

happy!