Happiness Comes Before Your Health Plan

Hello friends, Uncle Marv here and welcome to another episode of the Unhealthy Podcast where the fries are hot, the willpower is weak, and the life lessons are surprisingly on point. So today folks we're going to flip the script a little bit. Last week we talked about the new year, new me, and resolutions and things that you can do to kind of flip that script. 

So now we're going to lay the foundation on what the show will be about for this year. Before we start having guests I want to go through each of the topics that I think are going to basically be at the center of what we're going to do this year. So just like last week when we talked about resolutions, when it comes to fixing all of the unhealthy things in our life we're told to start with a diet, go to the gym, cut sugar, track macros, and all of those things are acute. 

A lot of those things are things that I did not want to do so I always wanted to take this show and start with something that was just way more powerful and long-lasting when it came to being healthy. Today we're going to talk about mindset and that was one of the things we didn't talk a lot about in previous episodes but I've come across a couple of articles, a couple of conversations that started talking about mindset and I think that that actually is one of the places where we should start. Not just with you know whether or not you know the things that we are doing are healthy or not because here's the truth. 

Most of us aren't over eating, over sitting, and over stressing because we don't know any better. We know that we should do those things. We're doing them because it makes us feel good in the moment. 

So if the only happiness in our day comes from the drive-thru, the couch, or that third soda of course that is one of what is going to be most prevalent in our lives. So in this episode we're going to talk about why happiness should be the first place you start if you really want to fix what is unhealthy and we're not talking about six-pack happiness. We're not talking about Instagram happiness. 

We're talking about real, regular person Uncle Marv level happiness and the type of happiness that you can actually get on a Tuesday. So let's start by cleaning up this whole happiness mess and what I'm going to be doing is talking about an article of the seven secrets to happiness based on scientific research and this article was written by a Kathy Ferraro. It is published in a website called Everyday Health and it was medically reviewed by Kelsey M. Latimer, a doctor registered nurse. 

So this is not something that I just kind of grabbed off of the YouTube and I'm referring to and I'll have a link to the article that you can check it out for yourself. So most people think that happiness means feeling good all the time, never being stressed and to be honest that's not really happiness and in some cases it's anesthesia. So the research breaks down happiness into two sides. 

There is the pleasure side which is feeling good and then there is the purpose side which is meaning and that meaning gives you direction, feels like your life actually adds up to something. The difference is that both sides actually matter but that the purpose side is what shows up again and again in the research as the thing that is tied to long-term well-being and even how long we live. So when life goes sideways, pleasure takes a hit first.

Purpose is what lets you say this still matters even when you're tired, scared or fed up. So if you want to pull a single lever for being happier and healthier we got to start with people and the seven core things that they talk about the very first one is to invest in relationships. So not all supplements, the hacks, but people are the things that actually is the place to start. 

Decades-long research keeps finding the same thing that folks who have a close supportive relationship or a group of relationships are not just happier, they are physically healthier and they live longer. So being around people who actually know you and care about you, it lights up the brain's reward and bonding systems and you get those scientific terms that they talk about oxytocin, dopamine, all the feel-good chemistry things that lower stress and calms your nervous system. Even small interactions and we're talking about things that you know you ask somebody how they're doing and you really mean it and you actually listen that moves the needle more than another night of doom scrolling ever will. 

So one of the most unhealthy things you can do is try to white-knuckle life alone. If you want to think about a way you can experiment this next week, don't buy anything. Just reach out to one person and give them your full attention for let's say 5-10 minutes and see how far that goes. 

Next up, gratitude and kindness. Now these sound like those soft skills that were always told you know that we should develop but the data behind them is you know pretty significant. People who regularly take moments to notice what's going right, especially during stressful times, report more positive emotions and lower stress. 

Their brain literally starts to scan more for what's working instead of what's broken. So you don't need you know a leather-bound journal with a golden pen. Just you know once or twice a week you can jot down a few things that you're thankful for and I'm talking truly thankful for not the fake thankful but you can pause during the day when something small feels okay, have yourself a little quiet moment, maybe a quiet meal those types of things. 

That's it. The reputation is what slowly shifts the baseline. Now kindness works in the same way but from the other direction. 

So when you do small generous things, you know help someone carry something, open a door, send a quick supportive message, your brain rewards you. Still, you get feel good chemicals, lower stress and even some cardiovascular benefits just from not being a jerk. So the simple rule for this week, maybe once a day do something kind that cost you almost nothing in time and money and notice how you feel afterwards. 

Now let's talk about your body and your attention and these are two things that are completely wrecked for most of us. Movement is one of the most reliable mood boosters we have. Regular physical activity reduces stress, eases anxiety and depression systems. 

It improves sleep and pumps out some of the same neurotransmitters tied to feeling better. That's serotonin as well as dopamine. But it doesn't mean you have to live at the gym. 

All of the guidelines talk about just simply moving. The average I think they talk about is a hundred and fifty minutes a week of moderate activity but the research is very clear that breaking that into small chunks still helps. So a few short walks a week, preferably outside, is enough to start changing how your body and brain feel. 

Then there's savoring. Savoring is just a fancy word for not blowing past the good moments. So when something feels good, you know whether it's you know something as simple as a joke, sunlight on your face, you pause for a few extra seconds and actually let yourself feel it. 

That deliberate attention strengthens the positive emotion and trains your brain to notice more of those things on its own. So this week maybe pick a couple of tiny moments a day and just let them show you, slow you down. Maybe no phone, no multitasking, just 30 seconds of let me actually be here for this. 

Just remember you're not forcing happiness, you're giving your brain a chance to register what's already there. Now as we go into the deep end of this, we talked about meaning and purpose. So the science of course says pleasure alone doesn't cut it. 

People who intentionally line up their lives with what they genuinely value, so whether it's belonging, creativity, curiosity, service, growth, those people report more motivation, more satisfaction, and more resilience than people who only chase comfort and distraction. Now that doesn't mean you quit your life and you know move to the mountaintop, it simply means asking what actually matters to me and then baking small versions of that into your weekly and daily lives. So if you are about you know serving, you know volunteering, you know might be a part of that. 

If it's growth, learning something new, you might work on a project that feels like it has a point. Those are the kinds of activities that create a deeper kind of happiness that hangs around when the fun fades. And then of course mindfulness and loving kindness. 

Taking a few minutes to pay attention to your breath or silently wishing yourself and other people safety and peace associated with lower stress, more empathy, and more positive emotion. So in the studies this kind of patience, I'm sorry, this kind of practice strengthens compassion and social connection and those are two big drivers of long-term well-being. So you don't have to sit on the cushion for an hour. 

A few minutes a day noticing your breath and gently bringing your attention back when it wanders is enough to start changing how you handle your thoughts and how you handle those emotions. You're training your mind to not run away with every stress signal. Now how do we bring it all together? You strip away the clickbait. 

You stop looking at all of the articles and all of the videos that give you 10 hacks to be happy. Just simply deal with what actually looks simple. Spend time with people that matter. 

Notice what's going on that's right. Do small kind things. Move your body regularly. 

Slow down for the good moments. Do things that line up with your values and practice paying attention on purpose. So that's where we land. 

If your life is, you know, miserable, your health plan doesn't stand a chance. You can't white-knuckle your way to healthy on an empty happiness tank. So start small with some of the things that we just mentioned. 

If you can upgrade your happiness sources even a little, you automatically take pressure off the food, the drinks, and the late-night nonsense to do all the emotional heavy lifting. That's how unhealthy quietly from the inside out. So thanks for hanging out with me and if this hits home, be sure to share it with a friend and take care of yourself. 

Find one way to be happy on purpose and I'll catch you on the next episode. Live healthy. Be happy.